As women in academia, having children can feel impossible. Talking about it makes us feel less alone

 

As women in academia, having children can feel impossible. Talking about it makes us feel less alone

The struggle is “balancing their careers not just with motherhood, but with what comes before: relationships and planning for a family,” these postdocs write

  • 28 Nov 2024
  • 2:00 PM ET by Ceclilia Padilla Iglesias and ERika C. Freeman
  • Cecilia hadn’t expected the video to resonate so deeply. She often watched online talks about her field of research. But this one didn’t just present pioneering scientific ideas; it put into words the uncomfortable reality she had been grappling with. She was nearly 30 years old and single, and she had recently interviewed for a postdoc position that would require her to uproot her life yet again. She couldn’t ignore a growing question: whether and how she would be able to have children. The talk, by anthropologist Marcia Inhorn, explored the silent struggles many highly educated women face in balancing their careers not just with motherhood, but with what comes before: relationships and planning for a family. It was an “aha!” moment. Cecilia sent it to her friend and fellow academic Erika, who responded immediately: “Why haven’t we talked about this before?”

    We’d often discussed how motherhood seemed like a career roadblock. But Inhorn’s talk illuminated something else: Many women in academia weren’t delaying parenthood by choice. Rather, they found themselves unable to reconcile their biological clocks with the unpredictable, demanding pace of an academic career. Fertility significantly declines during a woman’s 30s, just as many women in academia are working to gain career stability. As a result, they feel pressured to choose, to make decisions early on that could shape their entire lives. Men’s fertility declines much more slowly, giving them the luxury of time. And although universities are increasingly rolling out initiatives to support mothers, there is still silence around what happens before motherhood—the struggle to form relationships and plan for families amid the chaotic demands of academic life.

    quotation mark
    The academic structure … makes planning for a family feel like an impossible luxury.
    • Cecilia Padilla Iglesias and Erika C. Freeman
    •  
    • University of Cambridge and Eawag

    Erika was juggling a research contract set to expire in less than a year, a new partner, and strong circle of friends she was not willing to sacrifice at the altar of academic mobility (again) at the age of 31. She was curious; how were other academic women she knew dealing with similar situations? She organized a dinner that quickly became a regular occurrence, with more and more women joining the group. We shared articles, podcasts, and stories. We talked about the pressure of balancing career aspirations and the desire for a family. We discussed relationships that couldn’t withstand the constant relocations or the demands of research life, misaligned expectations with partners, and how dating felt like another exhausting task on an endless to-do list, with no clear outcome in sight.

  • Some of us had explored fertility preservation methods, such as egg freezing. “It’s like insurance,” a colleague told Erika. But insurance against what? Against biology? Against time? Against the possibility of one day achieving tenure but finding that it was too late to have a child? The process is expensive, physically demanding, and emotionally draining. “It’s not just the procedure,” Cecilia pointed out. “It’s what it represents. It feels like we’re being asked to put our bodies through this just to buy a few more years—because our careers won’t wait.”

    The more we talked, the clearer it became that the real issue wasn’t just finding partners or preserving fertility. It was the systemic barriers—the ways the academic structure itself, with its relentless relocations, temporary contracts, and focus on individual achievement, makes planning for a family feel like an impossible luxury.

    We aren’t sure what our futures hold. Cecilia was successful at her interview—and she negotiated with her new employer to let her work remotely part of the time so she would not need to fully uproot her life. Erika is still considering freezing her eggs while exploring career options, inside and outside academia; she hopes she will not have to ship frozen eggs internationally, a Kafkaesque quest. Amid the struggles and uncertainty, at least we know we are not alone.


  • Comments

    Popular posts from this blog

    Respiratory Viral Season: Fall 2023 Edition - Dr. Dora Anne Mills

    36 Best New Year's Traditions to Ring in 2024

    Trump won. Is NIH in for a major shake-up? | Science | AAAS