I prioritized my research at the expense of my health—until I crashed
I prioritized my research at the expense of my health—until I crashed
- 14 APR 2022
- BY MINGDE ZHENG
After drawing blood and running a CT scan, the doctor had questions for me. “What is a typical day like for you?” he inquired. “I am a graduate student with a packed schedule that usually keeps me at work late into the night,” I replied. Next, he turned to diet. I paused when this question came, embarrassed by my answer. “I only have coffee for breakfast. For lunch and dinner, I usually grab something from a fast-food vendor on campus.” The doctor seemed aghast. As more questions followed about my stress levels and lifestyle, my unhealthy state began to sink in.
It was easier to live a well-rounded life and stay healthy when I was an undergraduate student. I had fewer responsibilities—succeeding in classes was the main priority. I lived in a dorm with resident assistants who advised us about our personal lives, showing us where to eat and exercise. The cafeteria served healthy food options. And I had a built-in group of friends through the dorm, which made it easy to participate in social activities.
I am thankful I had an early warning that I was neglecting my physical health.- MINGDE ZHENG, NOKIA BELL LABS
That all changed in graduate school. I was laser focused on my dissertation project and doing what I could to become a successful scientist. I lived off campus, and I didn’t feel I had the time or energy to shop for groceries and cook. I stopped exercising and didn’t spend as much time socializing. My drive to succeed blinded me from seeing any potential problems with my lifestyle.
Sometimes, I could feel that I was becoming sluggish. But instead of giving my mind and body a rest, I drank energy boosters to maintain my stamina and continued to work long hours. I became an abusive overlord of my body. But it could only take so much before it crashed and burned.
As I progressed through my Ph.D. program, I gained an unhealthy amount of weight. I got tired easily. Energy drinks no longer worked, and my body would react violently to them, with nausea, chills, and shakes. I often caught colds or the flu. And I started to have sporadic abdominal pains, which I tried my best to ignore.
Eventually, the abdominal pains were so bad they drove me to the emergency room. That’s when the doctor peppered me with questions. As my wife sat terrified by my side, he diagnosed me with a gastrointestinal disorder and told me in no uncertain terms that I would need to change my lifestyle. No pill would fix my problem; in the long term, eating well, exercising, and trying to minimize stress would be the only way to keep the pain from recurring and turning into something worse.
I worried that if I eased up on the gas pedal at work, I wouldn’t be as productive. But after hearing the doctor’s warning, I knew I had no choice. I stopped working late into the night, which gave me more time to relax, sleep, and prepare my own meals. I read up on dietary recommendations and began to choose nutritious and healthy foods. I also gave up energy drinks and switched to tea.
Many times, I was tempted to go back to my old routine. I placed sticky notes in my office and at home to remind myself that if I didn’t make healthy choices, I’d suffer consequences. Over time, though, it became easier, especially once my habits became more ingrained and I began to notice positive changes in my life.
It’s been 4 years now and, to my surprise, I have not only noticed gains in my health, I have also found it easier to be productive at work. I’m no longer plagued by stomach pains and constant fatigue. And I’m able to remain alert throughout the day without having to rely on energy boosters.
My unhealthy lifestyle may not have been the root cause of my health issues—I may have become ill regardless. But I am thankful I had an early warning that I was neglecting my physical health. I’ve noticed many other scientists making similar mistakes, and I worry their wake-up call won’t come until later in life, when it will be harder to reverse the damage. Our work as scientists is important, but we can only do that work if we take care of our bodies.
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